thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My feet surprised me
Randomize
