Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We got so high we made milksteak
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
