Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
