pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
