he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
