I just cut my nipple shaving
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He did a backflip because drugs
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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