I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
