I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
