remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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