wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
