PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
