I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
