yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
