And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
you never un-have a 4some
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
