This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Randomize
