You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
