Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
