During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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