She said her name was "party"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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