the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
