party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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