i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
the liver wants what the liver wants
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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