He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
