My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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