I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
