I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm like, not good at living.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
