I hate your face
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
