why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
