i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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