if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
