Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
