he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
