I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I will be naked everywhere
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
