it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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