And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
