Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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