Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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