do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
