Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
