Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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