I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
