oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
