and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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