AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
