Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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