Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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