Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
