Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
