i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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