threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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